my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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