ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
