Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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