The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
