Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
