then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
