1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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