I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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