i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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