pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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