this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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