Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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