singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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