I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
