You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
