as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
