The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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