Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
