I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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