I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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