He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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