Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
