Hey man sorry I got all grabby
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
