New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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