I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
