One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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