Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
