Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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