I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
tell me about the eggs
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