Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
