Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you didnt know i had herpes?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
