we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
