butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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