and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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