this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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