Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
