Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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