evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
MIDGETS
????
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
