wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
