For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
