Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
