Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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