TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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