my sisters under your porch take her home
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
