If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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