So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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