would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
