I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize