i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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