don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
