i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
