it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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