She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
