it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
